Everything changes over time. Even the nature of our prayers, I’ve noticed. Instead of seeking insight, solace and answers mostly for myself, I find that I am now more inclined to seek healing and peace for others – those I hold dear to my heart and countless unknown others who suffer in this hard world. It’s a shift that’s linked with a sense of personal clarity that catches me by surprise as it arises unbeckoned: Oh hi, I know you. Welcome back!
Sitting in our backyard one late summer evening, blessed by the familiar rustle of leaves and a cool unexpected breeze, that “knowing” paid a visit and I paid attention. Another birthday is around the corner as this year approaches an end, and that timely little visit helped me to focus on what feels right for me, right now:
More Skincare, Less Makeup
In part, this is a choice based on my current lifestyle. I’m not traveling hither and yon, making presentations and facilitating learning. I’m “traveling” on a long neighborhood walk or out to the garden to pull weeds or to the CVS for a prescription refill. I don’t need the full-face effect! But there’s something else, too, and it’s about acceptance. There was a time when my younger self wouldn’t walk to the mailbox without that self-protective armor in place! No, this me, right now, looks at a face who has lived and has many, many stories to tell. Sure, I’d like to change this or that, but mostly, I accept what I see, a reflection of how I have inevitably aged and evolved. My focus now is to care for this face, to show it a whole lot of love.
More Quality, Less Mediocrity
Growing up as I did, I learned to be a scrounger, and a bargain was hard to resist. Even though I know better, I still fall into that trap now and then – the one labeled “more is better.” No, it never really was, and now my focus is on seeking out what I really want while letting go of all of the rest. I am the lighter for it!
More “Let It Be,” Less “I’ll Lose It”
I’ve always been more than a little happy about my almost flat tummy. Not vain, exactly, but proud, I guess. Now I understand that this paunchy thing is here for the long haul. While it will likely improve once I can get back to my regular workouts (I had surgery which put all of that discipline on hold), the ironing board tummy is a thing of the past: temporary, like most things.
More “Let It Go,” Less “Stick To It”
“Planful and disciplined” were often characteristics that made a regular appearance on my annual performance reviews. True, that way of being has served me very well, but it has also made me a prisoner of my own making. It’s time to lighten up. Once again, I can thank my surgery for interrupting my well-oiled and scheduled plans for helping me to realize that I won’t lose my mind if the house isn’t vacuumed every other day. Which is directly related to:
More Live The Moment, Less Work The Plan
While recuperating from surgery, I was able to spend more time outside, read more books, write more letters and cards, chat more and longer with friends by phone and in real time with neighbors – in other words, to embrace the joy-inducing things instead of squeezing them in between the tedious tasks.
And Always, More – Even More – Generosity
I believe that I have always been generous in friendship, kindness and thoughtfulness, and have taken deep satisfaction in giving and in gifting. This has always mattered to me as greedy hands and stingy hearts make us smaller as humans. But for me, for now, when it comes to generosity, more is always better.
What about you? What does your “this is me, now” look like?
